God Working in Me

I wonder how God can love us don't you?

This week, God has shown me some unlovely things about myself through behaviors that I choose.

One day, I walked past some people that could have used my help, but, because other people were stepping up, I made a choice not to. I was too wrapped up in my own selfish plans to stop and care.

This week I have also chosen to indulge in behaviors that don't reflect trust in God's plan for my life. I'm forever trying to orchestra events into something control-able - as if that was even possible. I could have ruined a friendship, but thankfully did not.

Naturally, this week's lessons show me how unlike Jesus I am, and how far away I am from surrendering my agenda to Him. Forgive-able? Yes, but I am disappointed in myself. I'm changed - Forgiven! And yet, so far from having a nature that reflects God.

How much I have to learn about truly surrendering to Jesus and trusting Him. I'm pretty sure if I had been the Centurion, I would have have acted like I knew Jesus could heal, but pretty sure I would have been doubting in my heart. If I had been the widow with my son restored to me, how long would I have been amazed and filled with gratitude, before I just started taking life for granted again?

Jesus keeps teaching me over and over again.

For this reason, when Beth asks if we are convinced that God is kind, even sweet, I have to say a resounding "no"! Thankfully, I think God is much tougher than sweet--He expects and wants me to grow into the woman He created me to be. That means He disciplines me, prompts me with the Holy Spirit - shines that light on what is lacking in me.

Some synonyms for sweet are Beloved; Cherished. Those resonate with me. If God is my Beloved, then I am more apt to desire to be His beloved.

Gudzik states on Ephesians 2:1-4:

Every reason for God’s mercy and love is found in Him. We give Him no reason to love us, yet in the greatness of His love, He loves us with that great love anyway.

Therefore, we must stop trying to make ourselves lovable to God, and simply receive His great love while recognizing that we are unworthy of it. This is the grace secret of the Christian life.

He further states (Ephesians 2:5-7):

This is the requirement for being saved. You must first be dead, dead to every attempt to justify yourself before God. He who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me . . . has passed from death into life (John 5:24).

God has shown me this week, that I am still in desperate need of His work in me. I'm so glad that He never stops showing me!